THE REVIEW

In Surrey, most things are where you expect to find them. Farm shops are next to farms. Country pubs are in the countryside. And Range Rovers are parked across two spaces outside Waitrose.
So, climbing to the top of Box Hill on a sunny day, I expected to find the familiar: perhaps a quirky tea room or an overpriced cafe. The last thing I expected to find was a traditional pie & mash.

I was born and raised in South-East London. Please don’t hold it against me – I have seen the error of my ways. However, some cultural aspects of identity remain, like speaking too loudly and loving pie & mash. So, I had to pop in and give it a try.
Porsha’s is located on Box Hill Road, just a brick’s throw from the Chalk Hare pub.
The restaurant does not have much indoor seating, and it’s very warm inside, but there are plenty of benches outside.
Double Pie, Single Mash & Liquor (£11.80)

Yes, that’s a ‘single’ mash.
The light pastry is filled with hearty and savoury minced beef, balanced with a sharp kick from a heavy dousing of chilli vinegar (optional, but always necessary). The parsley liquor is bright although a little over-thickened, and the mash is not great, but in these places, it rarely is.
Unfortunately, a section of pastry on the second pie is so hard to cut through, I have to apply some serious elbow movement to chip away at it, and keep hitting the plate with a heavy clank.
But unless you’re eating at one of London’s finest, the imperfections are all part of the experience.
Jellied Eels (£7.00)

The Thames used to be teeming with eels, and they’re a very hardy fish, so they last a long time out of the water, making them easy to store and sell. Thus the eel became the poor man’s protein of choice. Rather than actually being 'jellied', the eels are naturally full of gelatine; simmered in stock, they release it as they cook, and the jelly is simply what's left once everything cools.
Although they’re an acquired taste at the best of times, the eel is fresh, clean and tender.
The price is double what you’d pay at a good shop in London . Still, we are atop Box Hill, so perhaps we’re paying for freight.
What’s The Damage?
Double Pie, Single Mash | £11.80 |
Jellied Eels | £7.00 |
Total | £18.80 |
The Verdict
Given its location, I did not expect Porsha’s to be as good as Manze’s or Goddards. But I was hopeful it wasn’t just a tourist trap, and it’s not. It’s perfectly decent, unpretentious grub, with all the imperfections you can expect from a down-to-earth, traditional pie & mash shop.
If you’re craving a relatively cheap, historic carb load after a long walk – or you haven’t had your monthly eel fix – the next time you’re atop Box Hill, it’s worth a stop.
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Fresh coffee shouldn't require a coffee shop.
A Note on the Future of SurreyFoodies
One of the biggest problems with this newsletter is finding somewhere review-worthy. I frequently go somewhere, try the food, and find it’s average.
I don’t feel like I’m offering much value if I am constantly sending you emails that say: ‘Hello everyone! I found this place and it’s… okay.’
The problem is, most places are average. So, I end up spending good money on meals and not having a review to show for it.
I was talking to someone about this problem recently, and they said: “It might not feel valuable, but you’re saving people money... If you tell them it’s average, they’ll likely not go there.”
Are they right? I’m not so sure. Please let me know what you think.
Reader Recommendations
Either way, I have decided to stick more closely to your recommendations from now on. We have a community of foodies who know where the good stuff is. I have some suggestions in my back pocket already, and I’d love to have more.
For this reason, and because I love hearing from you generally, there is now a comments section. This is accessible via the articles found on the website. If you’re a subscriber, you will be able to log in and share your thoughts. Please do!
Slice-O-Mania
As much as I enjoyed Burger Fest a few weeks back, it’s difficult to eat more than one burger on any given afternoon – even for me. That’s why I’m looking forward to ‘Slice-O-Mania’ – the pizza festival being held at Richmond Athletic Ground this weekend.
Some of the country’s finest pizza purveyors will be serving by the slice, meaning you can sample a lot more than just two. There are still tickets available with multiple sessions available from Friday to Sunday.
I’ll be there!
This Week’s Foodie Events
Friday, 24th July
📍 The Old Barn Hall, Bookham.
🕘 10:00 – 12:00
Saturday, 25th July
📍 Hollyhedge Road, Cobham.
🕘 09:30 – 14:00
📍 Farnham Maltings, Farnham
🕘 17:00 - 22:00
Magic of Thailand Festival (also on Sunday)
📍 Stoke Park, Guildford.
🕘 17:00 - 22:00
Sunday, 26th July
📍 Victoria Road, Farnham.
🕘 10:00 – 13:30
Want your event listed in the newsletter? It’s free. E-mail: [email protected]
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Wishing you a week of good eating.
Until next time,
Sam.

Sam Cheeseman is a food writer, creative director and former chef who lives in Ashtead, Surrey.


