Ban the Brioche!
There is a story I read years ago β which I can no longer verify, but still accept as gospel β about a British pub chef trying to engineer an βInstagrammableβ menu. He had hit a snag with the burger. Minced beef slumped between two beige buns isn't exactly a scroll stopper. How on earth do you make that look good for the cameras?
Then, he had a brainwave: Brioche!

An uncut brioche burger bun: shiny and offensive to culinary logic.
Suddenly his burger was a glossy, golden brown with a buttery sheen. Chefs around the world thought, βHey, that looks great. Why didnβt I think of that?β And just a few years later, the brioche burger bun was ubiquitous. Now, itβs a struggle to find a burger without it.
Herein lies the problem: it was engineered for the lens, not for the stomach. It is, frankly, the worst possible bread to house a burger. Itβs chock-full of eggs and butter, yet itβs tasked with holding fatty beef, cheese and often bacon. Itβs fat, paired with fat, sandwiched between more fat.
You can make doughnuts from brioche. Would you eat a burger between two doughnuts? Actually, don't answer thatβ¦
Armed with this mounting resentment, I headed down to this year's burger festival to see who was prioritising substance over sheen.
The Great Burger Brawl
A quick disclaimer before we start: Burger Fest was held in Richmond, which is not technically Surrey, but itβs close enough.

Burger Fest @ Richmond Athletic Ground
Letβs jump right into it.
Smiths of Bourton - The Smiths Classic (Β£10)

Dry-aged signature blend, burnt butter miso mayonnaise, pickled onion, bacon, and American cheese.
The menu promised an umami experience, and it delivers! This burger is big on deep, savoury flavours, but the sheer weight of the rich miso mayo and burnt butter desperately cry out for a hit of acidity to balance the scales. A valiant effort, but skewed towards richness.
And itβs brioche.
Black Bear Burger β Bacon Cheeseburger (Β£10)

Dry-aged beef, cheese, smoked bacon, classic sauce, pickle relish, and white onion.
Black Bear are a big deal β frequently name-dropped by chefs as their favourite patty purveyor, and regular prize winners in international burger competitions.
This was the only non-smash burger I tried at the festival. It came cooked to a perfect, juicy medium-pink inside, with a coarse grind that held its shape.
It was packed with plentiful tiny pickles and relish, bound together by a satisfyingly garlicky burger sauce. Extra points for the sesame bun. This is a very good, simple burger, doing the simple things exceptionally well.
Meat Castles β The Holy Grail (Β£10)

40-day dry-aged beef, double American cheese, caramelised onions, homemade burger sauce, bread & butter pickles.
Meat Castles are the reigning champions of Burger Fest, so they had a lot to live up to.
Their homemade sauce and pickles provided a welcome hit of acidity to cut through the sweet brioche and rich beef.
Unfortunately, the grind on the beef was so fine that its texture resembled kebab shop-style doner meat. This style seems to be growing in popularity, and I can see the appeal, but texture-wise, itβs not for me.
Dash Burger β Irish Coffee Smash Burger (Β£12)

Aged Irish beef, espresso whiskey BBQ sauce, blue cheese whip, crispy black pudding.
Coffee, blue cheese and black pudding? I had to try this.
The sharp funk of the blue cheese and the dark, roasted notes of the coffee pair surprisingly well, cutting clean through the iron-heavy bitterness of the black pudding.
Dash Burger wins points for ingenuity, and for having the courage to use a non-brioche bun that lets the ingredients do the talking.
The Winner
Itβs a close match between Black Bear Burger and Dash Burger, but Dash just takes it. Their Irish Coffee Smash Burger stands out for its balance and originality. Funnily enough, neither of our top two contenders touched a brioche bun.
Is Burger Fest Worth Attending?
Only if you enjoy a good time.
The Richmond Athletic Ground setting is glorious, the crowd's relaxed, and the live music is surprisingly decent. Bring the family, bring the dog, bring whoever you like.
Food-wise, itβs also a unique opportunity to try the best burgers from around the UK. There are purveyors from the Cotswolds to Dublin, and back to Brixton.
They cut the burgers in half, so youβre able to try more, and while there is a ticket fee, the burgers are Β£4-5 cheaper than on the outletsβ normal menus, so you're not just paying for the privilege of standing in a field.
I recommend keeping an eye out for next yearβs event.
Hospitality is one of the UKβs greatest success stories. It employs millions of people, gives young people their first jobs, keeps high streets alive and brings communities together. But the sector is under enormous pressure.
Rising energy prices. Food inflation. Huge employment costs. Unjust business rates. The highest tax burden in the UK economy.
And on top of all of that β a 20% VAT rate that is among the highest in Europe.
Please lend your support to this campaign and help our hospitality businesses to survive.
This Weekβs Foodie Events
Friday, 26th June
π The Old Barn Hall, Bookham.
π 10:00 β 12:00
π Denbies Wine Estate, Dorking.
π 11:00 β 16:00
Saturday, 27th June
π Hollyhedge Road, Cobham.
π 09:30 β 14:00
π Ashley Road, Epsom.
π 12:00 β 14:00
π Albury Vineyard, Guildford.
π 11:00 β 16:00
Sunday, 28th June
π Central Car Park, Victoria Road, Farnham.
π 10:00 β 13:30
π High Street, Cobham.
π 11:00 β 16:00
π Knowle Country Park, Cranleigh.
π 12:00 β 18:00
π Central Car Park, Victoria Road, Farnham.
π 10:00 β 13:30
π Albury Vineyard, Guildford.
π 12:00 β 14:00
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Wishing you a week of good eating.
Until next time,
Sam.

Sam Cheeseman is a food writer, former chef and creative director who lives in Ashtead, Surrey.

